The Print Equivalent of Cheese Fries

I wish I could report on some smartypants book I read this weekend. I wish I was walking around smugly having finished the books about educational philosophies and new fangled lesson planning sitting by my bed. I would give fifty bucks to be able to say I've read what I need to for my next book club meeting. Instead, I'm caught up on People and Entertainment Weekly. It was a busy weekend which included my computer crashing after having an explicitly obscene picture pop up and stay fixed on the screen. It was so dirty at first I didn't know what it was, but once I puzzled it out, I felt nauseous for several hours. I was chased by a bear. Okay, I'm exaggerating, but just a tiny bit. At six a.m. on Saturday, as I walked to our local lake to volunteer at a swim meet, I was alone on the shoulder and a smallish black bear was on the other side of the road. We glanced at each other and I ran. I did not see another human being or car until I arrived at the lake parking lot a half mile away. In my book that's as good as being chased by a bear. And finally, on Sunday afternoon, my minivan refused to start while parked in my neighbor's driveway. My husband had to come with his pickup truck and jumper cables to get me out of there. Luckily, they are very nice neighbors who were able to suppress wincing as my husband had to drive a little on their grass and staring in disgust at the mess of sand, gum wrappers, and books on my car's floor. Needless to say, the most challenging thing my mind could handle last night was reading about how J.Lo did actually lose all the baby weight and who the real Farrah Fawcett was.