If I Was 13 and Artemis Fowl Was Real, I Would Totally Arm Wrestle My Daughter To Date Him

As usual, it's all thing Artemis Fowl over here at the house of th Book Bench. My ten year old daughter happily, happily, ecstatically got her hands on the newly released latest in the series, The Atlantis Complex. She is parcelling it out, just a few chapters a day to make it last longer. To fill in the gaps of non-Atlantis Complex time, she is reading the graphic novel version of the second book in the series, Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident. We have read the original novel and listened to it on CD and it is my favorite in the series. Hayden loves it because she loves the pixie villain, Opal Koboi who is deliciously evil. However, the graphic novel is like a thorn under her saddle because Opal does not look at all the way Hayden pictured her. That is irritating her no end. I'm worried that whenever the movie is made, she (we) will be disappointed

I do not have much time for "fun" books like the Artemis Fowl series because I am busily preparing for the classes I'll be teaching this fall. By the way, "this fall" means this Thursday as that's the day teachers report back to school. Anyhow, I did find a way to sneak a little Artemis in when I teach The Great Gatsby. I plan to do a lesson on Byronic heroes and have the students decide whether or not Jay Gatsby qualifies as one. Artemis is one of the many examples of contemporary Byronic heroes I will present to the class.

If Only I Could Fit Into Their Jeans

I am just like a fourth grade boy. I have spent my days at our local lake this week, swimming, jumping off the dock, eating ice pops and reading The Name of This Book Is Secret by Pseudonymous Bosch. Two fourth grade boys there told me they are reading the same book. The mother of a third fourth grade boy told me her son is reading it as well. I am reading it (actually I finished it yesterday) at my daughter's urging. She has read the entire series and pushed me to read at least the first so we can discuss it. I'm glad I did. It is a fun read and has helped me get in touch with my inner ten year old.

The Name of This Book is Secret is the story of eleven year olds Cass and Max Ernest, misfits in their elementary school, who discover a dead magician's notebook and something called The Symphony of Smells. They end up trying to solve a mystery and save a classmate. The book is filled with riddles, word play, suspense, and much silly humor. It's the perfect beach reading for kids like me.

Pen Pals

I have said no to all offers to substitute teach these last few weeks and have immersed myself in conspicuous parenthood. I have accompanied the fourth grade on its hiking field trip to a state park. I have attended band concerts, barbecues, and class parties. I handed out ice pops at the first grade field day, ran the scooter race station at the fourth grade field day, and ran something called "Water Works" at fifth grade field day. If it's possible, I think I have clocked more hours in elementary school than my kids have. There was one event that I missed however. In fact, parents were not invited, but what I wouldn't have paid to be a fly on the wall. It was yesterday when my daughter's fourth grade class met with their pen pals. My daughter had the great good fortune to have a creative, clever, and hard working teacher this year who brilliantly paired her students up with residents of a local retirement community as pen pals. It was a huge success for my daughter who I've always said is an old woman trapped in a little girl's body. She and her pen pal Marcia sent each other long detailed letters about their mutual love of cats and poetry. They learned that they each have a best friend named Susie. They shared details of their hobbies. Marcia sent Hayden a cd of big band music and Hayden sent Marcia a key from her key collection. That exchange went over a little better than the one in which a boy in Hayden's class received coupons clipped by his pen pal. But all in all, I think the whole program was a success. I just would have loved to watch their meeting. Luckily, the teacher took a photo of Hayden and her pen pal. The two plan to keep up their "correspondence." The whole thing makes me happy. I know receiving the letters has thrilled my daughter and I hope Marcia has enjoyed it too. I suspect she has.

Questions from the Backseat

Even though my son still has a little over a week left of fifth grade, the summer reading list and assignment has come out for incoming sixth graders. My wonderful neighbor and friend, armed with the list and library cards, brought my son and her daughter to our public library over the weekend to get a jump on checking out the books. As they have to read two each, she saved me a good thirty bucks by getting the books before they are all checked out of the library.

From the short stack he brought home, my son asked me to pick out the one I thought he would like best. I was shocked but leaped into action and selected Gennifer Choldenko's Al Capone Does My Shirts. Apparently I chose well because he is moving through it at a pretty fast clip. On the drive to his allergist's office the other day, my son read in the backseat and peppered me with questions such as

"What is a phonograph?"

"What is a radio cabinet?"

"What is an asylum?"

"Tell me everything you know about Alcatraz."

I was shocked by how much I know about Alcatraz Island, which is where the book is set in 1935. The main character is the son of a prison electrician.

I hope we have as much luck with the summer math packet he has to complete!

The Thief Lord

Here is a book I've recently finished and passed on to my ten year old daughter. I'm pretty sure she is going to love it. In all honesty, I did not pass on to her the actual copy I read since I listened to the audiobook on my drive to and from work, and I checked a paper copy out of the library for my daughter. Do you consider listening to the audiobook "reading"? I know some book clubs scorn it. It makes good sense to me as I can't stand overly political or overly hyuk hyuk silly talk radio in the morning.

Back to the book. The Thief Lord, written by master German storyteller Cornelia Funke (Inkheart, Igraine the Brave, and so on) tells an adventure story of two orphaned brothers who run away to Venice after the younger one is about to be adopted by an unloving aunt and the older is to be sent to boarding school. Once in Venice, the brothers, Prosper and Bo, meet up with other children on their own and join forces to survive. They also become involved with Victor Getz, a kindhearted private detective the aunt has hired to search for the brothers. Victor is easily my favorite character in the book, which is saying something as this is a very character driven book. Don't get me wrong, there is a lot of plot going on as well. There is a lot of adventure, a touch of mystery, and even a tiny bit of magic. And even though it is written for young people, this old lady learned a good bit about the city of Venice from the pages of The Thief Lord.

Apparently the book was adapted into a film a few years back, but I was unaware of that. I am quite glad I "read" the book, and I think my daughter will soon be as well. It is a good choice for fourth through I'd say seventh graders who like a bit of adventure.

Another Thing I Am Too Old For

My precious bibliophile daughter turned ten this past week. Ten! I can hardly believe it. She had a pajama party here at the Book Bench house with a bunch of lovely but high spirited girls on Friday night. I am still tired. Her friends know her well and several gave her books and gift cards to the bookstore. We were in the aisles of our local Borders spending one of those cards by noon on Saturday. With a fistful of coupons, she was able to do some damage to their stock. Currently, Hayden is reading three books, Theodosia and the Serpents of Chaos, Mary Poppins Comes Back, and The Magician's Elephant. She is also reading a book in school with her class. I don't know how she keeps the plot lines straight. I can't even remember where I put my book down half the time. It's good to be young!

The Best Possible Scenario

I know I have mentioned on this blog how much my kids (and I) love Jeff Kinney's Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. It was with much glee and anticipation that we recently went to see the movie in the theater. It was funny and we laughed and elbowed each other at the good parts throughout. The best part for me, however, was as we walked out of the theater and the kids told me that although it was great, the book was better. I love when they like the book better!

A Shortlist on St. Patrick's Day

St. Patrick's Day is one of my favorite holidays. As a lover of carbohydrates (soda bread, potatoes, green bagels) it's a no-brainer. I also like to affect a brogue and green is one of my better colors so it makes sense. There are also many great picture books based on Irish myths and legends that I've enjoyed with my children over the years. Our favorite is Tomie dePaola's Finn McCoul which I mentioned here a few weeks ago when deciding on a read aloud book for my son's fifth grade class. dePaola's Jamie O'Rourke and the Big Potato and Jamie O"Rourke and the Pooka are also fun reads for the three to nine year old set.

For older readers, eight to twelve years old, Marie Heaney's The Names Upon the Harp is a lovely book of Irish myths and legends illustrated by P.J. Lynch. P.J. Lynch is worth an Amazon search of his own as everything he illustrates is beautiful.

For contemporary Irish fiction for that same age group I of course recommend Eoin Colfer. I think I have made it clear in this blog that his Artemis Fowl books are utter brilliance. His Half Moon Investigations about the somewhat inept twelve year old private investigator Fletcher Moon, set in a modern Irish suburb, is great fun. I've read that the BBC made a TV series of this book, and I'm curious to view it.

For adults looking for a compelling story wrapped up in the history of twentieth century Ireland, Sebastian Barry's The Secret Scripture is perfect. My book club read this one in the fall and I have not stopped thinking about it or giving it as a gift. It is sad and wonderful at the same time, telling the story of Roseanne (Clear) McNulty an Irish woman sent to a mental institution for the bulk of her life. The book begins as the institution is about to close and her doctor needs to place her somewhere. Her story and their relationship grow from there. Roseanne's personal story and fate are tangled up in the national story and fate. Loved it!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

No Time for a Long Blog Post

I have no time for a long blog post today as I am trying to think up ways to get a copy of this book, The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate by Jacqueline Kelly, into the hands of every nine to twelve year old girl in America. It is fantastic. I'll have you know that I cried on page 47, page 181, page 252, and on page 323. It was more of a lump in my throat than full on sobbing, but I was moved and it wasn't the perimenopause talking. It is a lovely book and Calpurnia's love for her brothers and grandfather reminds me of how I felt about my own brothers and grandfather at her age. More on that later; I'm off to at least convince my own nine year old daughter to move this book to the top of the pile on her bedside table.

We Have A Winner!

Today was the big day. I went in for my turn as guest reader in my son's fifth grade class. After much hemming and hawing (I hear you; I need a hobby), I chose Lane Smith's brilliant picture book, John, Paul, George & Ben. It takes hilarious liberty with snippets of history about John Hancock, Paul Revere, George Washington, Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson. It met the requirements of being short, entertaining, and not at all babyish. Since my son's class has been studying the American Revolution in social studies it seemed like the perfect choice. There were giggles and laughs and audience participation at the end when I quizzed the students with the true and false questions Smith provides to set the record straight. In it we learned that while Benjamin Franklin did invent bifocals and the Franklin stove, he did not invent PlayStation76. This book is a lot of fun for kids who know a bit of American history. Without that bit of background, the humor is lost.

In other business, I know that I have not done a Foodie Friday post here in months. I'm not sure if I will start it up again. It is worth noting, however, that I am currently reading Ree Drummond's The Pioneer Woman Cooks cookbook. Last night I was inspired to make her "Comfort Meatballs" (pages 172-173). Some people sing for their supper; last night I sang to my supper. To know, know, know you is to love, love, love you... Delicious! Next up from The Pioneer Woman Cooks: "Simple, Perfect Enchiladas" (pages 176-178).

Oh The Pressure!

Looking at that title, you may be wondering what kind of pressure I am experiencing. Or maybe you are not wondering, but I plan to tell you. First, there is water pressure. Glorious, wonderful water pressure has been restored in my home. I've been flushing toilets with abandon for at least an hour now. Apparently my water will be running brown and dirty for a few days, but at least it's running.

That settled, I can worry about more bookish matters. Here is the other pressure in my life: I have been invited to be Guest Reader in my fifth grade son's classroom this Friday. I have twenty minutes to read to the class. What do I choose? Keep in mind, he will be in middle school next year and there will be no more guest reading. What should I choose to entertain this audience?

Last year Amy Krouse Rosenthal's Duck! Rabbit! was a huge hit. It inspired conversation and doodling.

Several times in the past I have read Tomie De Paola's Fin M'Coul. It is the perfect choice for March and I love to lay it on thick with the Irish brogue.

I am looking for something different this year. My son's teacher told me I will be reading immediately before phys ed class (I've been informed by my first grader that "Gym is a room and Physical Education is a class.") Maybe I should read about an inspirational athlete. David Adler's biographies of Lou Gehrig and Gertrude Ederle might be good selections. What to choose? Any suggestions?

Words I Never Thought I Would Hear

"I think this book might be better than Harry Potter," said my nine year old daughter last night of Blue Balliet's Chasing Vermeer. Gobsmacked I was!

Too Busy to Read?!

This is a ridonculously (as the kids say) busy week in my house. In addition to the usual homework, sports, activities, laundry, and so on, we've got a few big holidays of the religious and ethnic variety, two birthdays, and a fourth grade poetry celebration. If we had tshirts printed for the week, they would read something like, "Happy Valentine's Day. I Cannot Tell a Lie. Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez. Happy Birthday Times Two. Poetry Rocks and To Dust You Shall Return."

How about that? Catchy, right?

In all of the madness, books are going unread around here. I've been trying to get in a chapter of How to Train Your Dragon (or as one seven year old I know likes to gigglingly call it, How to Drain Your Dragon) and the kids are completing their required minimums for homework, but that's about it.

I have been listening to Twilight on CD in my car. I figure it's necessary for my job as teacher since just about every teenage girl in America has read it and for my job as mom since sooner or later my own nine year old daughter is going to jump on that bandwagon. She even received some Twilight valentines in school this year. My opinion: it's okay, but not fantastic. It certainly is chock full of frequently tested SAT words. That's a plus. I can see why all of those girls love it though. Edward is dreamy, dangerous, brilliant and mature. He desires Bella but doesn't want to "violate" her. She is independent but doesn't mind being protected. It has all of the classic bodice ripper elements with no actual sex. I can't decide what I will say if my daughter wants to read it in the next year or so. Luckily, I don't have to decide for my son. He heard about five minutes of chapter nineteen in the car yesterday on the way to ice hockey practice and said, "No offense, but your book isn't very good."

If I Read Any Faster My Tongue Will Fall Off

Awhile back I bought a paperback copy of Cressida Cowell's How To Train Your Dragon Book 1 as a potential book to read aloud with my three kids. Then other books cut it in line and it gathered dust. I finally got around to beginning it one night before bedtime last week. The kids all like it. One or two chapters in, I found out that it "Is now a major motion picture!" which is "opening in March at a theater near you!" which means I have to read like the devil is on my heels.

After six chapters, my three children and I all recommend this tale of Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III. a Viking boy, hoping to be initiated into the Tribe of Hairy Hooligans. The back cover promises that he will become known throughout Vikingdom as "The Dragon Whisperer." He is not there yet in our reading. In fact, at our point in the book, Hiccup has the lamest dragon of all the Viking boys, a pathetic little creature nicknamed Toothless. We cannot wait to read what happens next. As the kids are home today enjoying a snow day we might find out before bedtime tonight.

You Learn Something New Everyday

Two weeks ago a good friend of mine and her husband were here from Ireland and spent an afternoon with me and the kids. My friends lovely Irish husband inquired about what nine year old daughter has been reading lately. She was happy to report that aside from her beloved Roald Dahl of course, her current favorite author is Eoin Colfer. She raved about the Artemis Fowl books and recommended The Legend of Spud Murphy for his young nephews. She and I kept pronouncing the author's name as if it is pronounced "Ian." When my daughter showed my friend's husband the books, he congratulated her on her wonderful taste in books and then informed her that Eoin is pronounced like "Owen." Who knew? Hayden politely thanked him for this information, but when he left, she told me that she "Ian" Colfer and so "Ian" is how she will continue to pronounce his name, at least as long as we are here in the United States. Then she went back to reading his The Supernaturalist. She has since finished and wants me to read it.

In other mother-daughter book news, I've finished Neil Gaiman's The Graveyard Book, and I've been selling it to anyone with ears. My daughter took the bait, but asked me to check the print not CD version out of the library for her as she "can't imagine where she would find seven hours to listen to it." I did, but I think she will be missing out on Gaiman's fantastic reading. His voices and accents only enhance an already fabulous story.

It's cold out there today. At least it is here in New Jersey. I hope you can carve out some time to curl up with a good book in a cozy spot today.

On the Edge of the Driver's Seat

In my ongoing quest to satisfy my boys' desire for scary books that I feel are appropriate, I have hit upon a real doozy. I've been listening to Neil Gaiman's The Graveyard Book on CD as I drive to and from work this week. I'm almost hoping for a traffic jam. It is gripping! Before checking it out of the library, the sum total of knowledge I had of this book was that its author also wrote Coraline and that it won a number of awards last year, including a Newberry. Now I know I love it. It tells the story of Bod, Nobody Owens, orphaned as a toddler when his family was murdered and now being raised by the inhabitants of a local graveyard, ghosts, that is. I don't want to give a single thing away, and perhaps I can't as I still have about an hour of story left, so I'll just leave you with these words- this is the best thing I've checked out of the library in months and I'm looking forward to reading it with my kids.

Mixed Reviews

On Friday night my ten year old son saw the new Where the Wild Things Are film as a guest at an eleventh birthday party. He loved it. He was inclined to enjoy the evening as he also went out for pizza beforehand and milkshakes afterward. My nine year old daughter attended the movie at a nine year old's birthday party. My daughter did not enjoy the movie one bit. None of the girls did. Indeed, the birthday girl cried at the sadness and darkness of the film. I did not see it, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to. I adored the book as a child. Actually, I still do. In some review I read, the reviewer made a big deal of the fact that the book only consists of nine sentences so it was doomed to fall short of the original. While I was mentioning that to my kids, my husband said he heard on NPR that it consists of just twelve sentences. Anyone out there curious/anal enough to check it out?

My children have reached unanimity on Jeff Kinney's latest installment in the Wimpy Kid series, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days. Both kids laugh out loud love it. Particularly funny to them is when Greg (aptly referred to as a middle school Larry David by his creator) is signed up for a book club by his mother and then not allowed to quit it when all the other boys have dropped out.

Old School Week Spirals On

Did you Spirograph as a kid? That little construction right there, turning a noun into a verb, is pretty new school, so maybe I shouldn't have used it during Old School Week here, but actually, it's more about classic old books and products, not about writing in a retro style, so I'll repeat. Did you Spirograph as a kid? I did. I loved putting the little circle inside the big circle, sticking a ballpoint pen in the middle and making hippy dippy trancey spiral designs. As it turns out, all of those designs have definite mathematical formulas, but I never bothered with that aspect of the activity. I just liked decorating my notebooks, folders, and any piece of scrap paper I could find. The version I had back in the 1970s was put out by Hasbro and could keep me entertained for hours. A few years ago, my daughter received the "Hypotrochoid Art Set" pictured above as a birthday gift and fell in love with it. I hunted it down on the Internet (definitely not how my original set was purchased back in the day) and bought several to give as gifts at birthday parties. Patina Stores sells it for $7.95. By the way, Patina Stores has lots of other fun and sometimes retro gift items for the tweens and teenagers you occasionally shop for. Klutz books has The Spiral Draw Book which includes spiral wheels and pens but apparently it is not as easy to use and is more expensive than the Hypotrochoid Art Set. Therefore, I've only given you the link to Patina Stores. Have fun!

Easy Packing

I'm in the middle of packing for a quick little vacation we're about to take. It's more of a really long weekend than anything else, but it's the best kind. We've got very few plans other than to hang out with friends and relatives by the water. It's the kind of trip for which I've packed my junkiest clothes (yoga pants with shot elastic and holes in the knees even though I don't do yoga) and my best books. It's so much better than going somewhere that you have to put on lipstick and impress people. The juicy plum I've been saving for this getaway is Stieg Larson's The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo My nine year old daughter has packed L.M. Montgomery's Anne of Avonlea and what she calls "cozy clothes." That apple didn't fall very far from this old tree.

I'm A Sucker for a School Bus

I saw the cover of Gordon Korman's Schooled and knew I had to pick it up. I'm a sucker for a yellow school bus. I've always been that way; it's not just these last weeks of kids home on summer vacation talking. I've bought yellow school bus shaped cookies, PostIt notes, pencil boxes, and rulers in my day. This past weekend while my kids were oohing and ahhing over funky Habitrail type cages for their pet gerbil, I was trying to convince them that a little yellow school bus shaped one with a handle would be perfect for Mario, our family pet. They nixed my suggestion, but I bought the Korman book. I'm glad I did. It's a funny and satisfying read for tweens, telling the story of Capricorn (Cap) Anderson who was raised on a farm commune and home schooled by his grandmother named Rain. When Rain has to stay in a hospital after falling out of a tree picking plums, Cap ends up living with a social worker and her teenage daughter and attending a public middle school. There is a great deal of fish out of water humor. Can you imagine a teenaged, sandal wearing, tye died hippie who's never watched television in your local eighth grade? It's not just outsider gags though. There is a lot for young readers to think about in terms of what makes someone popular and how they respond to teasing and unkindness. I'm glad the cover sucked me in. It worked its charm on my nine year old daughter too. She saw the book on my night table and uttered "Ooooh. Can I read this after you?" However, she might also have been attracted by the author's name. She's a big Gordon Korman fan.