Foodie Friday: Foodie Puns

My kids and I have been enjoying puns lately. The "cornier" the better. That's me sticking with the foodie theme. Prepare to groan. Feel free to share your own foodie pun, or any pun for that matter.

Did you hear about the guy who brought his umbrella to the ice cream parlor? He had heard there was a chance of sprinkles.

Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it.

When the cannibal showed up late to the luncheon, he was given the cold shoulder.

Did you hear about the butcher who backed into a meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.

Speaking of butchers, what do they say when you ask, "Is that pure rump roast?"
"Nothing butt."

The Storm In The Barn

I've just had the good fortune to read an advance reading copy of Matt Phelan's soon to be released graphic novel The Storm In The Barn. I believe I've mentioned here before that I'm not a huge fan of graphic novels, but this one really drew me in with its subject matter, pacing, and high level of suspense. Set in Kansas in 1937, The Storm In The Barn tells the story of eleven year old Jack Clark who hasn't known rain in years as his family is struggling with the effects of the Dust Bowl. With a clumsy nature and no family farm to contribute to, Jack feels he is a failure to his father. Tensions run high in his town, and Jack is often the victim of bullies. Is he also a victim of "dust dementia" when he sees a sinister rain-like figure in a neighbor's abandoned barn? The historical details, from the clothing and cars in the illustrations, to the references to the Oz books popular in the 1930s give The Storm in the Barn a feeling of authenticity.
While it is a strong book to be read on its own by 9 to 13 year olds, I think it would be a great resource to accompany study of the Dust Bowl Days or a reading of Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath. It is a timely topic of study as reckless, market-driven farming practices were in large part responsible for the devastation. For readers thirsty for more on the topic after reading The Storm In The Barn, I recommend Timothy Egan's The Worst Hard Time: The Untold Story of Those Who Survived the Great American Dust Bowl.

Pardon Me, But Your Modifier Is Dangling

I've spent a fair amount of time lately thinking about grammar. I know I will be teaching plenty of it when I go back to work in the fall. I always enjoyed talking about dangling and misplaced modifiers with students. They can lead to some funny sentences. Here's an example: Hanging on the wall, my mother admired the painting. I used to have a great collection of them, but I cannot find it. I'm asking you, my dear readers, for help and entertainment. Can you compose a sentence which is humorous because of a misplaced or dangling modifier so I can build a new collection? If so, post it in the comments, and I will be forever grateful (and hopefully amused). Keep 'em clean! Here are two more to inspire you:

Covered in frosting and sprinkles, I ate the cupcake.

We saw several monkeys on vacation in Brazil.

Foodie Friday: Cupcakes!

Do you know that there are currently 7,986 different cupcake cookbooks currently in print? No? Well, then you aren't too gullible, but there are many, many cupcake cookbooks out there. The Martha Stewart machine just released one this week. I really would like to like that swirl of chocolate frosting right off its cover. That might raise a few eyebrows in my local bookstore. I haven't checked the book out yet other than casually flipping through it.
What I have sampled is the recipe for Lemon Coconut Snowballs (heaven on earth!) from Elinor Klivas' Cupcakes!
My sister has made them twice recently causing me to twice make a spectacle of myself in the over-indulgence department. Cupcakes! is a great little recipe book with gorgeous photos and clear instructions. I particularly like my sister's copy as it has some batter drips on the pages, the true mark of a successful baking book.
Cupcakes are enjoying a bit of a moment in the sun right now. I've seen ice cream cakes in cupcake size at the grocery store, visited many cupcake-themed blogs, and nearly tripped over the stacks of cupcake cookbooks at the bookstore. They are indulgent without going overboard, whimsical, evocative of childhood, and hopefully, delicious. They are also probably in my near future as I'm getting hungrier with each word I type about them!

On Language

First, let me say the title of this post is facetious. I think we can all agree that I am no William Safire.

I do, however, have a heightened interest in all things etymological and lexicographical of late. Perhaps this is because I've been reading Simon Winchester's The Professor and the Madman: A Tale of Murder, Insanity, and the making of the Oxford English Dictionary. Perhaps it is because I unknowingly used a derogatory racial term to describe my brother who was quick to point out the error. He also once informed me that the name of a piece of jewelry I was discussing is a sex act. The lesson here is that I clearly move in politer circles than he does. And you're never too old to learn something new, I suppose.

My six year old son just learned an important new word a few weeks ago. He was describing a woman who was visiting his school, saying she has "huge bras." Huge bras? How would he know, I asked. He made that gesture where both arms were extended in front of him chest high with his hands facing inward and curved. "Those are breasts," my nine year old daughter informed him sotto voce, "and you shouldn't be talking about them." I have replayed it in my mind dozens of times and it makes me guffaw repeatedly.

I learned a new word this week, and it's my favorite kind, British slang. I love trainers, puddings, being knackered and gobsmacked, and queues. Actually, I think this one should be called Irish slang as I learned it from a neighbor who is from Ireland. We were both working as volunteers at our kids' field day. My lovely Irish neighbor told me she had been forced to drive home and change her shoes because her daughter insisted they were too "naff" to wear. I may not be a William Safire, but I could figure out that naff means uncool or tacky. I did, of course, look it up as soon as I arrived home to confirm that. I laughed out loud at this this one, delighted at a new word I can use to impress Madonna should we ever meet. Although I think she's a bit off the British since the split from Guy Ritchie. I also laughed because the story which introduced me to "naff" made me think of another brother of mine. If his kids ever told him his shoes were too naff to wear in front of their classmates, he would go home and return with the ugliest (naffest? naffiest?) footwear he could contrive, maybe tube socks with flip flops. This is a dad who calls his kids' school lunches their "lunch sacks" just to bug them, as in "Kids, don't forget to put your lunch sacks in your backpacks!" It gets an eye roll every time. Ah, words!

A Frog, A Toad, A Professor, and A Madman Are Sitting in A Car...

This may not win me many friends among the middle and high school set, but I'm a huge fan of required summer reading. I think students should have to do a little bit of reading over their summer vacation. I certainly think they should be allowed to choose at least from a list and the list should include good, engrossing books relevant to what they will be studying upon their return to school in September. As I have mentioned here, I've been sending out resumes to schools in my area in order to make my return to the classroom and the workforce this fall. When researching a school to which I plan to send my resume. I'm curious to see if they assign summer reading. What a mix we have here in New Jersey! Some high schools require no summer reading. Some basically tell their students, "Read a book this summer." Others provide lists from which to choose. Some of the lists are great, some are horrifying. My favorites are the schools that provide a few choices and a specific writing assignment based on the summer reading. One school requires students who will be taking senior honors or AP English in the fall to read Simon Winchester's The Professor and the Madman. That book has been on my to-read list for several years now. In fact, I think I gave a copy to my brother for his birthday several years ago, but never got around to reading it myself. Well, I'm not going to let a bunch of suburban seventeen year olds best me. I got a copy last week and devoured it. It is a well researched and nicely written account of two men involved in the making of the Oxford English Dictionary. One is the scholarly Professor James Murray and the other Dr. W.C. Minor, an American Civil War veteran and insane asylum patient. You would never guess that a book about the OED could read so quickly. However, I just can't imagine that it's what many high school students want to be reading on the beach this summer.



Yesterday, my kindergartner and I were running some errands. In one store he said loudly, "Oh no! We left the frog, the toad, the professor and the madman in the car!" It earned us some funny looks.

Joke From An Ice Pop Stick

Why did the book become a police officer?

He wanted to work undercover.


(My kids enjoyed it.)