Ever since I left teaching high school and became a stay at home mom, I've fallen woefully behind on my knowledge of slang. Apparently, "bling bling" is out as is "phat." Even that business of adding "shizzle" or "foshizzle" inside of words, which I never got the hang of, is so yesterday. This morning, one of my friends picked me up in her awesome new Ford Flex. Thinking myself pretty cool, I called it a "sweet ride." That shows you how much of a dinosaur I am. It is, according to the middle schoolers on my friend's nephew's football team, a "fresh whip." A fresh whip? Come on! Doesn't that sound more like something you'd order from Starbucks?
What is a suburban housewife facing going back to teaching teenagers and raising her own in the near future to do? How will I know what the foshizzle they're talking about? I can't go back to watching MTV or hanging out at Abercrombie and Fitch. What I need is some sort of Internet subscription service that updates me weekly on the latest lingo so I know if a home is still a crib and sneakers are still kicks. Listen, I'm smart enough not to try to speak it myself, I just want to crack the code. If you know of such a service, let me know. I'm jonesing for it (Can I still say that?) For now, peace out. (How about that one?)