Tuesday, April 28, 2009

For Accuracy's Sake

I called our state wildlife management office yesterday about the situation behind our house and was put through to the "Bear Unit." I think that needs to be the next CSI or Law and Order show they come up with. Don't you love that: CSI: Bear Unit? Anyhoo, when I mentioned the newborn cub who appeared on Friday afternoon and we can hear "crying," the young woman on the phone laughed derisively at me. She informed that it was no doubt born in January and just emerged from the den for the first time on Friday. When I expressed concerns about my children's safety she said there are too many bears in NJ, they can't remove her, keep reporting incidents like this so maybe our governor will allow a bear hunt, and maybe try shooting her with a paint gun to get her to move on. Then it was my turn to laugh derisively at her. Apparently she's never seen a display of my sorry eye-hand-coordination nor can she imagine what would happen with my sons and a paint ball gun under one roof. I asked to speak to someone else and then had a frustrating chat with a self-described bear biologist. He too believes the cub was born in January. When I again expressed concern that one of my three children who each weigh less than 70 pounds might inadvertently get in between the mother and cub and she would attack, it was more derisive laughter and I was told I had "bought into the Disney story about bears." Damn straight! I bought into the one about Prince Charming too. That one worked out for me. When I asked him what I can do, he suggested I make life unpleasant for her by leaving no food out and using an air horn, car alarm, etc. every time she comes around. Well. look, I've made life loud and unpleasant around here for years and my husband and kids haven't moved on. We'll see what happens. The point of all this is that I wanted to clear up my inaccuracy and say the cub apparently emerged from the den but was not born on Friday.


Moe said...

It's still a very cool event. I probably wouldn't have left the party.

I can't say I agree much with their suggestions (the target practise I mean) but it makes sense that human noise would encourage her to move on.

Maybe the kids could have a sing song every time they come around. A bunch of kids singing erratically has been known to drive many away.

Keep those pots and wooden spoons handy.

Anonymous said...

What does any of this have to do with childrens books? Lets get back on track please.

Christine said...

Anonymous- you are so right. I'll be back to blogging about books tomorrow.

Corey Schwartz said...

Oh my gosh. What a story! This could make a great PB, so anon should have a little more vision.

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Well, all of those so-called tips from the "government" are a bunch of nonsense. Complete hooey. All I can think to do is go buy a fog horn. And blow it. A lot. Into the receiver of your phone. While you are on the phone with the non-responsive governmental entities.

Good grief!