For Accuracy's Sake

I called our state wildlife management office yesterday about the situation behind our house and was put through to the "Bear Unit." I think that needs to be the next CSI or Law and Order show they come up with. Don't you love that: CSI: Bear Unit? Anyhoo, when I mentioned the newborn cub who appeared on Friday afternoon and we can hear "crying," the young woman on the phone laughed derisively at me. She informed that it was no doubt born in January and just emerged from the den for the first time on Friday. When I expressed concerns about my children's safety she said there are too many bears in NJ, they can't remove her, keep reporting incidents like this so maybe our governor will allow a bear hunt, and maybe try shooting her with a paint gun to get her to move on. Then it was my turn to laugh derisively at her. Apparently she's never seen a display of my sorry eye-hand-coordination nor can she imagine what would happen with my sons and a paint ball gun under one roof. I asked to speak to someone else and then had a frustrating chat with a self-described bear biologist. He too believes the cub was born in January. When I again expressed concern that one of my three children who each weigh less than 70 pounds might inadvertently get in between the mother and cub and she would attack, it was more derisive laughter and I was told I had "bought into the Disney story about bears." Damn straight! I bought into the one about Prince Charming too. That one worked out for me. When I asked him what I can do, he suggested I make life unpleasant for her by leaving no food out and using an air horn, car alarm, etc. every time she comes around. Well. look, I've made life loud and unpleasant around here for years and my husband and kids haven't moved on. We'll see what happens. The point of all this is that I wanted to clear up my inaccuracy and say the cub apparently emerged from the den but was not born on Friday.